Sex and Intimacy (Sex Informed Therapy)

Intimacy & Connection: Discover Sex-Informed Therapy

Sex-Informed Therapy is a specialized, affirming, and holistic form of psychotherapy that focuses on sexual health, pleasure, and intimacy as fundamental components of overall well-being and relational satisfaction.

Unlike traditional therapy, which might treat sexual issues as a symptom of underlying emotional problems, Sex-Informed Therapy is proactive. It operates on the belief that improving sexual intimacy can, in turn, foster emotional closeness and connection. It provides a safe, non-judgmental space to openly discuss sexual dysfunction, diverse relationship dynamics, and desire without shame or blame.

What Makes Sex-Informed Therapy Different?

The core difference lies in the integration of sexual health with mental health. A certified Sex-Informed Therapist:

Takes a Holistic Approach: Addresses the biological, psychological, and social factors (the biopsychosocial model) that influence your sexual life, including cultural messages and past trauma.
Focuses on Pleasure over Performance: Helps individuals and couples shift from the anxiety and pressure of “performance” to the joy and exploration of shared pleasure.
Acknowledges Sexual Disconnection: Recognizes that sexual disconnection or mismatched desire can exist even in otherwise healthy relationships and works to address this directly.
Employs Practical “Sexual Prescriptions”: Provides evidence-based exercises and practical tools (often called homework) to increase intimacy and deepen connection between partners outside of the session room.

Key Areas of Focus

Healing Sexual Dysfunction

Sexual dysfunction refers to a persistent or recurrent difficulty with sexual response, desire, pain, or orgasm, causing distress. Sex-Informed Therapy helps clients address these issues by tackling the emotional and cognitive barriers that often maintain them:

Low Desire/Libido: Identifying and treating the root causes of reduced interest in sex, which can include stress, hormonal changes, and relationship issues.
Arousal & Orgasm Difficulty: Utilizing psychoeducation and behavioral exercises to help individuals learn how their bodies respond to stimulation and overcome blocks to arousal or orgasm.
Sexual Pain (e.g., Vaginismus, Dyspareunia): Working alongside medical providers to address the psychological and behavioral factors that contribute to or maintain pain during sexual activity. The therapeutic focus is on reducing anxiety and promoting a relaxed, mindful connection.

Navigating Fertility Help and Timed Intercourse

The process of trying to conceive, especially through medical interventions, can transform sex from an intimate experience into a highly stressful, goal-oriented task—a phenomenon often called “infertility sex”.

Sex-Informed Therapy helps couples on a fertility journey by:

De-Pressurizing the Bedroom: Offering strategies to separate sex for pleasure from sex for conception.
Addressing Performance Anxiety: Managing the specific type of performance anxiety that arises when sex is timed for ovulation, which can lead to erectile difficulty or difficulty with arousal.
Nurturing the Relationship: Helping partners communicate their emotional and physical needs to maintain intimacy and connection, even if they must take a “stress recess” from treatments.
Creating Guilt-Free Mindsets: Establishing a mutual, guilt-free understanding that neither partner is to blame for fertility challenges.

Creating New Monogamy Agreements

Modern relationships require intentional communication, and this is especially true when defining commitment. A key focus area in Sex-Informed Therapy is helping couples create an explicit relationship contract to define the terms of their emotional and sexual relationship. This is often utilized in two scenarios:

After Infidelity (Erotic Recovery): When an affair has broken the implicit, unspoken contract, a therapist can guide the couple in rebuilding trust and defining a new, explicit agreement for the future.
To Re-establish Intimacy: For couples who feel stuck or have mismatched desires, the New Monogamy agreement creates an open, honest space to discuss their individual desires, fantasies, expectations, and limitations regarding topics like flirting, arousal, and connection.

This process helps couples move from unspoken assumptions to a mutually agreed-upon, fluid contract that supports the life they desire.

Techniques and Tools

Sex-Informed Therapy uses a variety of mind-body techniques to help clients reconnect with their sexuality:

Technique	Description	Key Goal
Sensate Focus	A foundational technique developed by Masters and Johnson, consisting of a series of at-home touching exercises. It is done without the pressure of performance or orgasm.	Reduces performance anxiety and helps partners rediscover pleasure and communication through mindful, non-demand touch.
Mindfulness-Based CBT	Focuses on increasing nonjudgmental awareness of the present moment, sensation, and touch during sexual activity.	Helps clients challenge maladaptive thoughts (like performance anxiety) and stay present in their body rather than in their head.
Tantra and Erotic Recovery	While the specifics vary, Tantric principles emphasize integrating spirituality with sexuality, focusing on breath, energy, and prolonged connection to deepen eroticism and intimacy.	Helps shift the focus from a rapid goal (orgasm) to exploring the journey of sensual energy and connection.
Cognitive Restructuring	Identifies and challenges distorted thinking or beliefs—such as shame, guilt, or unrealistic expectations—that interfere with sexual intimacy.	Replaces unhelpful thought patterns with accurate information and realistic expectations about sex and the body.