Couples Therapy
The Roadmap to Relational Health
Exploring the scientific and spiritual tools for a thriving partnership.
Finding the Right Fit: Diverse Paths to Connection
Couples therapy is not one-size-fits-all. Different approaches emphasize different levers of change—from communication skills to emotional bonding to nervous system regulation.
EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy)
The Power of Attachment
EFT views relationship distress as a form of **attachment injury**. It focuses on identifying and changing the negative interaction cycles (e.g., the “pursuer-withdrawer” pattern) that keep couples stuck. The goal is to safely articulate deeper, vulnerable emotions and create a secure emotional bond.
The Gottman Method
Science of Relationship Stability
Based on 40 years of research , this method is highly structured. It focuses on increasing **positive affect** during conflict and building the Sound Relationship House. A core focus is replacing the Four Horsemen (Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, Stonewalling) with healthy dialogue and **repair attempts**.
IFS (Internal Family Systems)
Unblending Your Inner “Parts”
IFS posits that our psyche is made up of different “parts” (e.g., the critical part, the anxious part). When these parts take over, they disrupt relationships. The goal is to help each partner access their core **”Self”** (calm, compassionate, curious) to understand and heal their inner system, leading to clearer, more compassionate partnership.
Polyvagal Theory Informed
Nervous System Safety
This approach focuses on the body’s unconscious safety system (the Vagus nerve). It teaches couples to recognize when they or their partner are in a **”fight, flight, or freeze”** state (dysregulation) and how to use presence and connection to return to the **”social engagement system”**—creating felt safety.
Sex-Informed Couples Therapy
Intimacy, Desire, and Erotic Recovery
Specialized therapy for couples dealing with low-sex or no-sex dynamics, desire discrepancy, or sexual trauma. It integrates relational models with specific sexual health knowledge, using structured dialogues to increase comfort, **honesty**, and intimacy, fostering **Erotic Recovery** in a non-judgmental space.
Couples Intensives
Accelerated Change
A highly concentrated, multi-day format designed for rapid, deep-dive change. Intensives are ideal for couples in crisis or those needing to **break through gridlock** quickly. This format allows the focused time necessary to **reduce ineffective behaviors** and create a clear, actionable plan for follow-through.
Experiential: Tantra & Spiritual Intimacy
A Non-Clinical Path to Connection
While not a formal, evidence-based therapy model, Tantra offers a spiritual and energetic framework for deepening intimacy. It emphasizes mindfulness, breathwork, and presence to cultivate energy and connection within the partnership. **Note:** This practice is typically facilitated by coaches or spiritual teachers and is **not a substitute for licensed, clinical couples therapy.** But when utilized by a licensed clinical couples therapist can create curiosity and connection in couples through two bodied meditations.
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And start building a more connected relationship — one gentle step at a time.